Saturday, April 4, 2009

Convergence of weirdness, team comes together.

Frisbeetarianism- G. Carlin

Up in the mountains, when we had electricity one of my favorite pastimes was to listen to old vinyl records of comedians like the Smothers brothers, George Carlin, Bill Cosby, Cheech & Chong. There wasn’t much in the way of TV stations, maybe 2 or 3 stations that faded in and out even if you had power. Of the few shows we DID get I grew up on “Creature Features”, Friday Night Videos, and Dialing for Dollars (They never called me when we had a phone). Otherwise it was radio (Dr Don Rose, Dr Demento and Paul Harvey – Good Day!) and good old vinyl.

When we had no power, it was battery powered radios and cassette recordings of all the old radio shows like the Lone Ranger. We also had a DC powered TV so we could watch the Raiders play Monday night Football while plugged into the lighter of my parent's T-bird. Sitting on the hood as we cooked some BBQ, it always faded out at the end of the third quarter so we never knew who won. And with the Raiders of the early 80s that was torture. Down by 20+ points at the end of the third, we just knew they got their asses handed to them. The next day on the bus to school I was stunned; "What do you mean they won?" Or the next weekend they would be up by 14, and I find out the next day they LOST? UG!

But it was the comedy records I remember the most, especially Cheech and Chong bits like “Crusin with Pedro de Paco”, which also was the team name of my first (and rejected) Lemons entry.

“Hey WOW man, you drive just like Steve McQueen…”

I read Tommy Chong's book, "The I Chong: Meditations from the Joint" while on a cruise to Alaska for our 1st anniversary with my
"loves-to-sail-because-she-wasn't-in-the-navy -spouse".

The cruise was nice (Saw a bear) but the book was more interesting. He went to prison for 9 months for selling blown glass "Art" nationwide on the Internets.

I think "The Man" was still a little upset about the whole 70s stoner thing.

I have been known to sneak into our conference room at HQ before presentations and write on the upper left hand corner of the whiteboard:

Sister Mary Elephant
Social Studies-1
Guest: SGT Stadenko

Then struggle to keep a straight face as the CEO gives his company wide quarterly updates, while people quietly notice it and figure out the joke. (Why do they always look at ME?)

Recently we went to see the "Cheech & Chong Light Up America" reunion tour at a local theater. Pretty funny stuff, but it just DID NOT OCCUR to me that the theater would be filled with Ganja smoke. Yes, I know, it seems blatantly obvious in hindsight. I just remember being glared at my “what-is-WRONG-with-you-spouse” who I dragged out to see them with me. She was from a different generation, and I found myself with a lot of ‘spalinen’ to do, after we stopped on the way home to buy some nachos. She had her first case of the munchies I think.

The next day I flew out on another business trip and my hero Tommy Chong was at the airport with his wife Shelby. They walked by, and then a while later she walked by again. She walked back, and came through once again dragging Chong with her. Not sure what just happened, but it was funny. Later as I was buying a car magazine Shelby got in line at the kiosk. “Great Show” I said.

“Thanks” she replied. And then an awkward silence followed...

I felt like a jackass.


And speaking of Jackasses;

The most entertaining thing up in the mountains growing up were Clampers.

ECV, E Clampus Vitus. Typical garb at a 'doins, what sayeth the bretheren?

Motto: Creedo Quia Absurdum- I believe because it is absurd.

Yes, I am also a Clamper. Third generation, and unfortunately it is terminal.

But what does Clamper mean you may ask?

Answer: I do not know.

“And so recorded”.

These seemingly fractured elements would converge one recent evening as I was out to dinner with my “I-want-BBQ-spouse”…

We went to the Highlife in San Jose, which was recently featured on “Man-vs-food”, and a known Clamper bar in addition to having great ribs.

I was sitting there discussing with my hungry-spouse how I was going to find a 4th driver for the team. Suddenly a man walks in behind me and asks “Do you do that 24 hours of LeMons race?”

“What?” I replied a little shocked. “Um, yeah. I keep trying to. How did you know THAT?”

“Your jacket” my “captain-obvious-spouse” whispered. Oh, RIGHT! I had been wearing my awesome new Lemons Jacket, the only real tangible evidence I ended up with from the arsefreezeapalooza fiasco.

The guy said he had heard about it and been checking it out, and REALLY wanted to do it.

I said “Well, I just happen to have an open seat on my team if you are interested”.

We introduced ourselves, and he told me his last name was Chong. “Lol, NO way.”

And he was a glassblower. “Ha-ha-ha!! Hey WOW man! You are SOOOOO on the team!!”

Next: The Characters:

Previous: Hammer, Screwdriver & Vise grips

From The Begining: The Hook... (Part 1)

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